Living Out of Control

I was worried.

I can try to sugar-coat it, or downplay it, or pretend I didn’t feel that way, but the fact is, I was worried. I had never been in this place before, never faced this kind of thing, and the thought of what was going to happen just wasn’t a fun thing to think about.

I mean, had undergone surgery before, but not this kind of surgery, and so when the dentist looked at me and said, “those wisdom teeth are going to have to come out,” I got a little nervous. Then he showed me the x-ray, and I got a lot nervous. Then I started talking to some people who had experienced this type of surgery, and I got, well, worried. Ask anyone around me, and they’ll tell you it’s true--I was worried.

The day of the surgery came, and I went to the oral surgeon’s office. I donned my surgical gown and hair-cap. The nurse attached a blood pressure cuff and pulse monitor. They started an IV in my arm. As the doctor came up to me and started to put the anesthesia into the IV, the thought crossed my mind, “I have no control over what is about to happen to me.”

Maybe that’s what I was worried about.

Those of you who have had surgery can understand what I’m talking about. Undergoing a surgical procedure means, in that moment, you have no control over what is happening to you.

We like control, don’t we?

Ask almost any guy in the room (and most gals, too!) and if they are honest, they’ll admit they like the power that comes with holding the television remote control. And the more things it controls, the better. We have one remote at home that can control the TV, satellite receiver, DVD, CD player, and iPod all in one device. And just try to pry it out of my hand during “Monday Night Football”.

Cars these days have a lot of controls. Forget power windows, door locks, and cruise control. You can buy a car today that controls everything from the passenger’s seat temperature to a GPS device to your MP3 player and cell phone.

Sometimes it’s not so trivial as that. It turns out we like to control as much of our world as possible: our money, our health care, our jobs, our security. We tend to feel much better when we’re in control. “If you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself”

We like control!

But the fact is, sooner or later, we all are going to be faced with a situation that we have no control over: our job, our health or the health of a loved one, the economy, crime, some crazy driver on the interstate. In those moments, I am becoming convinced, sometimes it’s that loss of control that makes us worry.
And heading for that dentist’s chair, I was worried.

[Read Matthew 6:25, 31-32].

Now, the Scripture says, “Don’t worry.” And sometimes I want to say, “that’s easy for you to say!” Then the passage gives us a clue to the “don’t worry” command in 6:33. “But strive first for the kingdom of God” (NRSV).

When I was working with this passage, I stopped, and read the whole thing over again. Jesus is pointing out the birds of the air, that neither sow nor reap, and the lilies of the field, that neither toil nor spin. What Jesus says about them is that God provides for them. It dawned on me that a field-lily really doesn’t have any control over what happens to it. Everything good that happens to it--all its beauty, water, soil, sunshine--is a gift from God. The lily is not in control. God is. And Jesus says to us, “live like that.”
Could it be, that all our worrying, and fretting, and efforts to gain more and more control over our lives are not really what the kingdom of God is all about?

Loved ones, I am convinced that one of the things Jesus means by “seek first God’s kingdom” is that we are to give up control of our own lives. Truly, the Christian life is a life that is out of control, or at least, out of my control.

This is actually Good News for us. When God helps us give Him control, we realize in a brand new way that He really does provide for us, and has been providing for us all along! God teaches us that, just like that field-lily, everything good really is a gift from God. For those gifts, we are truly, and deeply, thankful.

When God brings us to the place where we can let go of our toil, our worry, and our need to control everything; we realize how much we really do have to be thankful for. Thankfulness comes when we let go and trust Him for everything we need.

Well, thankfully, God’s people were praying for me during that surgery. And when it went well, and didn’t hurt like I thought it would, we gave God thanks and praise for yet another gift. Through the things we worry about, God is teaching us to simply let go, trust Him, accept all of the gifts He brings, and be thankful.