Forgiving Love

(I begin the message using the opening segment from the movie version of Les Miserables. In this segment, the main character, Jean Valjean, a released convict in 18th century France, is taken into the home of a Bishop. During his stay he steals the Bishop’s silver but is quickly apprehended the next day. He is brought back to the Bishop who, much to Valjean’s surprise, not only grants forgiveness, but also gives him even more silver. The rest of the movie tells the story of the life that has been totally transformed by grace and forgiveness.)

(After the movie segment ends) Please stand and pray with me the Lord’s Prayer. (Congregation stands and we pray the Lord’s Prayer.) You may be seated.

Many of us have known this prayer since childhood. We can say it from memory, almost to the point that we don’t even think about what we are saying. Each part of this prayer, however, has great meaning and significance to us. Today, I want to draw our attention to one part of the prayer. Jesus taught us to pray, “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” This is the only part of the prayer Jesus chose to explain more fully. Listen to what Jesus had to say about forgiveness immediately after teaching His disciples to pray.

(Read Matthew 6:14-15)

Wow, did you hear what Jesus said? These are powerful words! English teachers call this a conditional sentence. This is a sentence in which there is an “if” and “then.” This is an “if/then” statement we cannot possibly ignore. Jesus says very clearly, if I do not forgive, then I will not be forgiven. This is serious. Is it possible that by holding a grudge against someone else, I could actually not be forgiven by God? Does Jesus really mean that if I don’t forgive, I could end up in hell?

One principle I have always used when trying to interpret a hard passage like this is to see what is said about it in other passages. So let’s look at some other occasions when Jesus discussed forgiveness.

Peter, one of Jesus’ disciples, once asked Jesus, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus responded, “I tell you not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Some translators believe Jesus actually said, seventy times seven or 490. In either case, Jesus is basically saying that there should be no end to our willingness to forgive.

Jesus then tells one of His great stories. A servant owes his master a great sum of money. Let’s say it would be like you or me owing someone a million dollars. I don’t know about you, but if I owed someone a million dollars, I would be in big trouble. I couldn’t pay back a million dollars if my life depended on it. This servant pleads with his master for mercy and is granted forgiveness. The master totally wipes out his debt and sends him on his way. This same servant immediately goes to a fellow servant who owes him money. I suppose it would be like you or me owing someone five bucks. Not a great amount, but enough that the fellow servant couldn’t come up with the money. In response, the servant who had been forgiven a great amount has his fellow servant thrown in prison. Jesus then describes how the master who had forgiven his servant responded. “You wicked servant,” he said, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger, his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. Then Jesus makes this chilling statement: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

It sounds to me like Jesus means it. If I don’t forgive someone else, then I will not be forgiven. In Mark 11:35, Jesus says, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you of your sins. In Luke 6:37, Jesus says, “Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

Yes, it is very clear to me. Jesus really does expect us to forgive each other. If we don’t forgive, we will not be forgiven. For the Christian, forgiveness is not an option. According to Jesus, if I am one of His disciples, I am required to forgive.

I have to admit, however, when someone has done something bad to me, I really don’t want to forgive! Everything within me cries out against it. This is especially true when someone has hurt someone I love. You know what I mean. You can do something to me and it may be okay, but if you do something to my family, I’ve got it in for you.

Now maybe you are not like me, but let me tell you just how I feel about it. Here’s what I really want: I want justice. I want things to be set right. I can’t stand the idea that someone can do something to hurt someone else and get away from it. Life should be fair, and I want to make it fair.

I also want to get even. I want revenge; I want to get back at you. Everything within me thinks that if I can just get even, make you pay, than I will feel better. I suppose what I really want most for someone who has hurt me or someone I love is for them to hurt also. If I hurt, I want you to hurt. If you hurt my family, I want you to hurt even more.

I know I’m no different than anyone else when it comes to forgiveness. Forgiveness does not come easily. Even when I know I am supposed to forgive, I find it very difficult to do it. Even when I make up my mind that I’m going to have to do it, I really don’t know how to do it.

For me to forgive requires two very important things. First, I need motivation to forgive. Second, I need to know how to forgive. If I am missing either one of these, forgiveness is really not possible. I have to want to forgive, and I need to know how to go about offering forgiveness.

Let’s begin with my motivation to forgive. Why should I want to forgive my brother or sister when he or she sins against me? Let me give you four reasons that should be far more than enough motivation to forgive.

First, I forgive because God has commanded it. I love God and have committed myself to obey His commands. I must want to forgive simply because I want to obey God. I know what God commands is good and right. This should really be all the reason that I need to forgive others.

Second, I forgive because my salvation depends on it. That’s what Jesus clearly teaches. If I do not forgive others, I will not be forgiven. I know enough about my hope to make it to heaven that without forgiveness, I don’t have a chance. No forgiveness means no salvation; no eternal life means no heaven. Even more seriously, I know that the failure to forgive could actually mean an eternity in hell. I don’t know about you, but I don’t care what someone else has done to me. Holding a grudge and hoping to get even is not worth losing heaven.

Third, I forgive because not doing so hurts me. It not only hurts my hopes for eternity, it hurts me right now in this life. The most miserable times in my life have been when I have held grudges and nurtured bitterness. I’ve known people who are holding on to past hurts and wrongs. They are tragic. There is absolutely no joy in living our lives trying and hoping to get even. We will not only be miserable, but we can literally lose our health over this. Here’s the real kicker: the person we are refusing to forgive probably doesn’t even care. He or she is not miserable. That person you are so mad at is probably living life without a care. So, here I am, making myself completely miserable, and the other person isn’t suffering at all. God’s answer: I must forgive those who sin against me.

Fourth, I forgive because forgiving makes me like Jesus. This is something that should really be important to me. If I am a Christian, I am called to become like Jesus. This whole series of sermons is intended to help us “love like Jesus.” Everything we know about what Jesus taught, what He lived and died for, was to forgive others. That is what He has done for us. He has forgiven us, because that is what Jesus does. Remember the story of the woman brought to Him, guilty of adultery? He forgave her. Remember what He said on the Cross? “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” If I want to be like Jesus, I must forgive. There is really nothing I can do that will make me more like Jesus than to forgive. When I forgive, I show the love of Jesus to someone else more effectively, more profoundly, more clearly than at any other time. To forgive is truly divine. I should want to forgive because I want to be like Jesus.

Let me give you just one more reason. I forgive because I have been forgiven so much. That’s really a part of the meaning of the story of the unmerciful servant. When I knelt at that altar of prayer and received Jesus Christ as my Savior, I was forgiven of more than I could ever repay. God’s grace and love for me has been so complete and free, it should go without even questioning that I would want to extend that same forgiveness to those around me.

To tell the truth, however, I have found that just because I have come to want to forgive is not usually enough for me to actually forgive. I must also know how to forgive. Now this is where I believe many of us need to learn something new. Perhaps the reason we find forgiveness so difficult is because we are trying to forgive in the wrong way. Please, listen very closely. God wants you to learn some things about forgiveness you really need to know.

We are to forgive in the same way Jesus forgave us. God does not ask us to do anything more in forgiving than He does in forgiving. This is important, because it addresses the biggest problem we face in the effort to forgive someone else. Here’s the problem: how can I forgive someone who doesn’t even care that they have hurt me? How can I forgive someone who hasn’t even said “I’m sorry”?

Let me ask you a question. When did God forgive you of your sins? When did forgiveness become something you could enjoy and take comfort in? You know the answer. God forgave you when you repented of your sins and asked Him to forgive you. Yes, it is true that God’s forgiveness was always available, but the blessing of forgiveness did not come until you asked for it.

There is a difference between having a spirit or attitude of forgiveness toward someone and actually bestowing forgiveness on them. We are to forgive in the same way God forgives. Just like God is always willing and ready to forgive, so am I to have a willingness and readiness to forgive. However, in the same way that God does not bestow His forgiveness on me until I ask for it, I cannot truly bestow forgiveness on my offender until forgiveness is requested. That’s really important. It seems to me that some of us are struggling to bestow forgiveness on those who have hurt us before they have actually asked for it. God does not ask of us to do something He does not do. Forgiveness begins with a willingness to forgive, but cannot be completed until it has been both requested and bestowed.

We know that Jesus accepted the cost of offering forgiveness: His life. Jesus had to die in order for us to be forgiven by God. While I may not understand exactly how or why Jesus had to die, I know He did. He died in my place, so I could have eternal life.

Forgiveness is always costly, and most costly for the person doing the forgiving. I know it’s not fair, but neither was it fair for Jesus. If someone has done you wrong and you are facing the need to forgive, perhaps the hardest step is to realize that to forgive means it will cost you more than the person being forgiven. I know for me, this is often the hardest step. It feels like I am already the one who has paid the price for the other person’s sin, and now I am being asked to pay an even greater price to forgive. Let’s face it, that’s what forgiveness is. If there was no price to pay, then I wouldn’t really be forgiving the person, I would extracting justice.

When Jesus forgives us, He initiates the process of forgiveness. He has made the first move. He has reached out to me by His grace even before I even knew I needed forgiveness. There is a fancy word for this: prevenient grace. This literally means “the grace that goes before.” Essentially, this means God takes the first step in offering me forgiveness.

To forgive like Jesus means I also must take the first steps toward forgiveness. I must be willing to be the one who goes first. Not only do I accept the cost of forgiveness, but I am also the one who reaches out with forgiveness. I don’t wait for the other person to come to me, I take the initiative to go to them.

Forgiving like Jesus means I must offer forgiveness sincerely to the person needing it. When making known His willingness to forgive us, God does so with complete desire and readiness to forgive. He does not hold out His forgiveness begrudgingly, but with a sincere desire that we will receive it.

For me, forgiving like Jesus means that I must not only be willing to forgive, I must want to forgive. While I may not be able to bestow forgiveness on my offender until it is requested, I must have a heart that longs to forgive. I am not really having the attitude of Jesus if my approach to forgiving someone sounds more like this: “I’ll forgive him, but he’s going to have to really mean it before I do.”

Jesus’ example of forgiveness shows us that He bestows forgiveness on us readily. We don’t have to plead or beg Him to forgive. He doesn’t make us grovel in our remorse. When we sincerely come to Him in prayer, confessing our sins, and asking Him to forgive, He does. He forgives us immediately, completely, and freely. When I ask Him to come into my life, it’s done. There are no conditions other than my willingness to live faithfully in a trusting relationship with Him.

For me, to forgive like Jesus means that I too must be willing to forgive my offender readily and quickly when it is requested. Granted, I cannot be like God, who knows the sincerity of the heart of those who repent. Jesus’ example and teachings are clear: when our brother or sister who has sinned against us repents, we are to forgive. Forgive how many times? Not just seven times, but seventy times seven.

Here’s one more thing we learn from Jesus’ example: when He forgives, He remains in an attitude of forgiveness. In other words, when He forgives, He really forgives. What we have done against Him is totally wiped clean, thrown as far as the east is from the west.

I’m not sure what we mean by forgiving and forgetting. My experience has always been that the only things I can forget are the things I want to remember, and the surest way to remember something is to try to forget it. Interestingly, the Bible never commands us to forgive and forget. It’s a good thing, too, because none of us have the ability to willingly forget something. What the Bible does teach, however, is that when something is forgiven, it should stay forgiven. To forgive means to bring up the offense no more.

I know now that forgiveness is something that I not only should do, but I must do. I need to do it because by doing so I will actually be set free from bitterness and misery. I also know that my model to forgive is Jesus. Forgiveness is a process that begins with my readiness to forgive and is completed when the person needing forgiveness asks for it and I can bestow it. I have to admit, however, forgiving does not come easily. There is only one way I am going to be able to forgive, and that is if the Holy Spirit enables me to forgive. I need help, and I suspect you do too. So I’d like to ask you to join me in asking the Lord to fill us with His Spirit and to give us the power to forgive. Specifically, let’s pray for the following:

Lord, help me give up the right to get even. Someone has hurt me, and I feel like I have a right for justice. But, Lord, I know that if you were to give me justice, I would be forever separated from you. Just as you do not get even with me, let me give up my desire to get even with my offender.

Lord, help me keep no record of wrongs. I know I can never forget like you. I know I will probably always remember what has happened. But help me, Lord, to let it go, to hold it against this person no more, to give up the right to bring it up again.

Lord, help me speak well of the person who hurt me. Perhaps the most difficult thing for me is to control my tongue and what I say. Lord, help me “bless my enemy” with good words.

Finally, Lord, help me learn to trust again. I realize that trust is something that must be earned, and once it is lost, it is very difficult to regain. Lord, my relationship with my offender cannot be fully restored until I can trust again. Let me be a person who will give another the chance to be trustworthy, and may I the person who can trust again. Lord, help me to forgive. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I have saved something for the end that I think is the greatest reason of all for me to forgive. If you have your Bibles, I’d like you to turn with me to John 20:21-23. (Read the passage)

I’ve always wondered about what Jesus meant when He said, “If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” I’m not exactly sure of all that meant when He said that. But I think I know at least this much. One of the reasons I need to forgive others, is because other people’s salvation may actually depend on whether or not I forgive. I know that’s true! When people see a Christian who truly forgives others, they are influenced by what they see. Think about it. My forgiveness may be what it takes to save someone else’s life. What a tragedy it would be that if by not forgiving, not only are we not forgiven, but someone else may never experience salvation as well.

Let me say it once again. There is no time that I am being more like Jesus and loving as He does than when I forgive. I want to be like Jesus!

Closing song: I want to be like Jesus

	First Sunday of Advent November 30, 2008
	Second Sunday of Advent December 7, 2008
	Third Sunday of Advent December 14, 2008
	Fourth Sunday of Advent December 21, 2008
	First Sunday After Christmas December 28, 2008
	Second Sunday After Christmas January 4, 2009
	Baptism of the Lord January 11, 2009
	Second Sunday After Epiphany January 18, 2009
	Third Sunday After Epiphany January 25, 2009
	Fourth Sunday After Epiphany February 1, 2009
	Fifth Sunday After Epiphany February 8, 2009
	Sixth Sunday After Epiphany February 15, 2009
	Transfiguration Sunday February 22, 2009
	Instructions for Advent Monologues