Authors Interview

“Forgiveness: Finding Freedom Through Reconciliation”
Avis Clendenen and Troy Martin, authors.
The CrossRoad Publishing Company, 2001, 130pp., $14.95, paper)

Recently the editors of PM spoke with Dr. Troy Martin, Nazarene elder and New Testament scholar, about his book on forgiveness.

PM: With so many books on forgiveness available today, why did you feel the need to write yet another?

Authors: We wrote this book because much of the available material on forgiveness recommends forgiving and forgetting and letting bygones be bygones. This recommendation is neither biblically based nor theologically or psychologically sound.

PM: What is wrong with the adage “Forgive and forget; let bygones be bygones”?

Authors: It’s not found in the Bible, and it does not understand forgiveness as a relational process. In Christian theology, forgiveness always involves at least two people, an offender and an offended. In our opinion, the adage places the responsibility of forgiveness solely on the offended and requires nothing of the offender. We think the adage re-victimizes the person who was hurt in the first place and ignores the offender’s responsibility.

PM: If you reject this adage, what do you put in its place?

Authors: We propose a forgiveness exchange that begins with confrontation, continues with repentance, and concludes with forgiveness extended and received.

PM: Why is confrontation important?

Authors: Confrontation is important because Jesus recommends it in Matthew 18:15 as the initial response to a hurt or disappointment. Confrontation is neither telling someone off nor setting someone straight. Rather, confrontation is accurate empathic action. We chose to use three words to describe confrontation because we believe that confrontation need not be confrontational but must be accurate empathic action, which leads people into conversation about painful content. In confrontation, we invite our offender to go with us on a journey of exploration to gain greater clarity about the fracturing moment. To confront effectively, we need to be accurate about our feelings and perceptions of what happened. We also need to empathically consider the impact our confrontation may have on our offender. Because confrontation is so important, we include a “Short Guide to Effective Confrontation” at the end of chapter 5 of our book.

PM: What is the purpose of confrontation?

Authors: The goal of confrontation is the offender’s repentance. Confrontation is successful when our offenders change their understanding of their words and actions and own responsibility for their role in the fracture. Our offenders’ repentance enables them to receive the forgiveness we are extending. The forgiveness exchange is complete and the fracture in the relationship is resolved.

PM: What if the offender does not repent?

Authors: Indeed, we often deal with repentance challenged individuals. Our book recommends that we increase the confrontational pressure on unrepentant offenders.

PM: Even if our offenders do not repent, isn’t the Christian obligated to forgive them anyway?

Authors: The Bible says we are to forgive as God has forgiven us (Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:32), and God’s forgiveness requires repentance. If our offenders refuse to repent, they are not able to receive forgiveness, and the forgiveness exchange stalls or is sabotaged. It cannot be completed.

PM: How do we then avoid the negative emotions of unforgiveness such as frustration, anger, and bitterness?

Authors: When we have done all we can do and our offender remains unrepentant, we can transfer that offender to God in the hope that God can move them to repentance and we can forgive them.

PM: This understanding of forgiveness seems different from other available material on forgiveness.

Authors: It is, and we have received many testimonials of how our book has helped people who have struggled for a long time with issues in need of forgiveness.

PM: Who would benefit from reading your book?

Authors: We think everyone could benefit. We have written our book for both Protestants and Roman Catholics. When we treat specific beliefs not held in common by all Christians, we carefully identify the group that adopts the belief. When we discuss Purgatory, for example, we are careful to identify this belief as Roman Catholic. Relational issues of forgiveness, however, transcend confessional and denominational lines, and our book can help all Christians negotiate more satisfying relationships.

PM: How is your book being used?

Authors: Obviously, individual Christians are reading it. Several pastors are using our book in their preaching since issues of forgiveness are always present in the church. One pastor requested multiple copies and uses them in his counseling. Small groups such as topical Sunday School classes can also use our book in an 8-10 session format.

(Editor’s Note: Forgiveness: Finding Freedom Through Reconciliation can be obtained from Nazarene Publishing House, 2923 Troost Ave., Kansas City, Missouri 64109 for $14.95.