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HOW MUCH DOES JESUS WANT?

John 6:5-13

At this stage in my life (or perhaps more accurately, at this stage in my children's lives), I find myself now repeating the same question over and over again: "How much is this going to cost me?" Do you understand that?

That seems to be my role in life now. I used to be involved and included in things. Now I just follow along behind and once in a while they say "pay now" and I pay. I think it's a major question that dads deal with throughout life. "How much will this cost? How much did that cost?"

Actually, I think it's a question we all deal with in different ways. In just about everything that happens, one of the things we really want to know is, "What's this going to cost me?" And the question is not just in terms of money.

If someone asks us to be involved in something, we want to know what kind of time commitment is involved. We have learned very well to evaluate almost everything in terms of what the personal cost will be.

And we've also learned that if the personal cost is considered too high, we won't hesitate to say, "Sorry, I can't be involved in that. It just doesn't fit into my priorities right now."
I think we bring that skill into our spiritual lives as well. We hear the challenges of life in the kingdom of God and before we sign on we ask, "Well, what's it going to cost me?"
As a matter of fact, Jesus himself told us we'd better ask that question. He said that if we are going to sign on as disciples we'd better count the cost and take stock of what the personal price tag could be for following Jesus. However, that question is a lot different from the one that many Christians seem to have learned.

It's one thing to carefully consider the cost before I commit myself to being a fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ. That's wisdom. However, it's another thing entirely if, when confronted with opportunities for service and giving, I always come at them with a negative mind-set: "How much is this going cost me?"

Let me be specific. If I really get serious about being a follower of Jesus, how much of my time is it going to cost me? What does Jesus really want from me? A couple of hours on Sunday? Involvement in a ministry that takes several hours during the week? More than that? I have responsibilities, you know. I have a job, I have a family. Jesus can't expect too much here. I mean, let's be reasonable about this.

Or if I really get serious about being a follower of Jesus, how much of my money is it going to cost me? Ten percent? Ten percent plus special offerings? More? What does Jesus really want from me?

I have responsibilities, you know. I have a family to take care of, bills to pay, braces to put on, and shoes that wear out. So let's not get too carried away about this giving thing.
You see what I mean? I think that even though most of would want to consider ourselves sold-out followers of Jesus, we are constantly asking the dad question: "What's this going to cost me?"

It seems to me that this is one of the major questions going on in the story we've heard together this morning. It comes primarily through the lips of Jesus' disciples.
The situation is really pretty simple. Great crowds were following Jesus, listening to His teaching and watching His miracles. Jesus had a very practical concern for them. "How are we going to feed this group?"

He addressed the question to Phillip who perhaps had the assignment of hospitality committee chairperson. And I love the little comment that John sneaks in here. John says that Jesus asked Phillip this question, "Only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do" (John 6:6).*

That almost doesn't seem fair, does it? Because Phillip, being like us, responded like most of us would respond. "How much is this going to cost?" He did the math in a hurry and figured out that there was no way they could come up with the funds to put on a buffet for this crowd. You're talking eight months' wages for the economy menu. That just doesn't make sense. It's not reasonable.

Now apparently this story is central to understanding what the kingdom of God is all about because all of the Gospel writers include it in their books. John, however, has one extra little twist in his version.

It has to do with this little boy. We know the elements of the story well. Five loaves and two fish. The little boy's sack lunch for the day. He gives it to Jesus, and in the divine hands of Jesus a multitude is fed. Now isn't that sweet? Isn't that just the cutest thing--the little boy gave up his lunch for Jesus? And the lesson is, we all need to be willing to give our little part to Jesus and in His miracle-working hands our little part will be multiplied.

Well, I wish that's all this story had to say to me, because I could deal with that. I could fit that into my "How much is this going to cost me?" mind-set. And too often my answer to that question has been something like, "Well, I'll just give my little bit and Jesus can work with that."

But here's what I wonder: if Jesus could feed more than 5,000 people with five little loaves of bread and two scrawny fish, why couldn't He also do it with three loaves of bread and just one of the fish? Why did He have to take the little boy's whole lunch? I mean, would it have been too hard a thing to leave the kid a few crumbs in appreciation for his help? Did He really need the whole thing?

Now we don't know much about this little boy, but I'm thinking if it was me I'd try to strike a deal with Jesus. "Jesus, can't you work with 10 percent? 20 percent, even? OK, how about let's go halves. What? All of it?"

The more I think about what happened here, the more it bugs me. How much does Jesus want anyway? If He's willing to take a little boy's entire lunch, how much is He going to want from me?

I don't like that question, because all this time I've had it safely figured out. I've got my percentages down that enable me to ease my materialistic conscience. I've got this figured out so I can be considered generous and successful at the same time. So don't mess with my formula, Jesus. You start asking for the whole lunch and it messes everything up.

Does Jesus want my whole lunch? I wonder how many of us live in fear that Jesus wants exactly that? I wonder how many of us hold Jesus at arm's length precisely because we are afraid He's going to ask for the whole lunch?

How many of us just cannot come to the place of total devotion to the Lordship of Jesus because we're still trying to strike a deal on how much Jesus gets and how much we get to keep?

Truth is, we don't know if Jesus asked for the entire lunch or if the boy just gave it. We don't know if Andrew just took the lunch or if the boy came up to Andrew and offered it. But it doesn't matter, because that's not the point of the story.
And the question of "How much Jesus really wants" is not even the point of the story. The point of this story is that Jesus is able to provide more than enough for life in His kingdom.

The point of the story is that He is the Bread of life, not our measly provision that we so carefully and stingily dole out every day. It's about Him and His ability to provide if only we will let go of our mind-set of lack and embrace the mind-set of abundance.
The point is not how much of the boy's lunch Jesus wanted. The point is that with the lunch in the hands of Jesus, nobody went hungry, not even the little boy who gave up his lunch.

Now there's an interesting thing that happens in the language of this story. When Mark tells this story, he says that Jesus "Blessed, and broke" the bread. He uses a language tense there that makes it a single action never repeated. But then Mark changes his language and uses the imperfect tense when he says, "Jesus kept on giving to the disciples." In other words, the miracle took place in our Lord's hands.

As He held the simple meal in His hands He would break off pieces and give to the disciples, and He kept on doing that. Apparently there never was an increase in the amount in His hand, but there was always a continual supply until the whole multitude was fed.

I think that's the point. Our resources left in our hands are limited and scarce. When we are in control we have to manage and conserve them. But our resources in the hands of Jesus are multiplied and abundant.

The issue is, when am I going to stop trying to bargain with my pitiful little lunch and release my resources completely into the control of Jesus where they can more than supply the need?

But it's a big step between holding on to my little lunch and handing it over to Jesus. It's a step called faith, trust. Can I trust Jesus enough to let go of control of my little lunch?
The important question is, "How much of my total resource is really under the control of Jesus?" I know how I'd like to answer that question, but would it be honest? I'd like to say, and sometimes do say, "Oh, it all belongs to Jesus. Everything I have is His. I'm just a steward of what is His."

But in reality, how much is really under my control? How often do I bargain with Jesus over how many loaves and fish He gets and how many I have left to do with as I want?
"Well, Jesus, I tithe, I give extra offerings, I participate in all kinds of special projects to help others, I give a greater percentage of my income than anyone would really expect--so surely You don't mind if I make the decisions about this part, do You?"

What do you think would happen if we really, honestly, brought all of our resources before the Lord and seriously asked Him at each step what He wanted us to do with it?
What do you think would happen if we could stop before every expenditure (no matter how small) and seriously ask: "Jesus, is this OK with You? Is this how You want me to use this money?" I wonder what would change?

I wonder what would happen if we stopped bargaining with God with our little five loaves and two fish and just handed it all over? I think I know the answer to that question. I think we would find ourselves left, not with five loaves and two fish, but with 12 baskets overflowing with the abundant blessing of God.

I think that's what would happen. But we will never find out until we let go. How much does Jesus want? All of it. How much will Jesus give? More than enough. The critical question is, "Can you believe that?"
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*Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version® (NIV®). Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.